افغان اپډیټ

How to forgive those who hurt him?
Translation: Hamidullah Hamidi

A life partner who is not committed, parents who did not meet your expectations in your childhood and many other people who hurt you in life, sometimes this has caused such a deep wound in your existence. It makes you say to yourself: “I will never forgive.”, “Some people are not worth forgiving.”, “Some incidents are not forgiving at all.” But on the other hand, religious leaders and psychologists say that forgiveness saves us from the torment of our conscience and eliminates our stress, which is vital for health and psychological issues. When we hear these words, we say to ourselves: “Should I forgive him or not?” What kind of thing, when there is no possibility, still let it go?

A psychologist says, four years ago I presented a scientific seminar under the title of “Forgiveness between husband and wife”. One of them told me: “What they presented in the seminar was very interesting, but I think not everyone deserves to be forgiven. How long will we forgive them?”

There may be many people who think so. They think that people who make a mistake or think bad about you should be forgiven, but if this behavior continues, then no one can be forgiven.

Two years later, I saw the same person, his forehead was full of joy, he said to me: “Now my thinking about forgiveness has changed; Because I saw the taste of forgiveness and after that I don’t want to deal with forgiveness with anything else.

Undoubtedly, there have been many times in your life when you have been hurt by someone or you have been hurt by them. Many people do not value such small talk and call it nonsense, but there are also people who repeat such things or talk in their mind, thus spreading negative signals in their mind and dreaming about it. becomes two They always think that the other person has done a great deal of harm to them, so they get tired of him and think negatively about him, this action causes them to lose their mental peace. to give

Let’s take a housewife example here:

One night her husband comes late from work, what do you think his wife will do with this incident?

1- Do you think that this is a small thing, maybe his work was long and he went home late.

2- Or she may think that her children are still hungry and her husband is so poor that he does not think about them.

For example, second thoughts:

Repetition of such words in the mind makes the wife face a different situation. Women get angry twice as much and eventually their house turns into hell.

Or that the wife thinks carefully that everything should be normal, for example, her husband goes home late because he has a lot of work to do. He has been so busy that he has not been able to inform about the late arrival. When the husband comes home, he says to him in a very soft tone: Good luck, did you come late today?

This kind of talk causes the production of positive energy in the husband and he responds to it in a very nice and sweet tone:

I had a lot of work today and I couldn’t come home on time.
The matter is clear, the husband was late and he did not inform the family about his late arrival, he can be forgiven because this is the most pleasant thing.

Research has proven that those who forgive are healthy in every way; It is interesting to know that those who forgive are less likely to suffer from heart diseases, are less depressed and seem to be more psychologically calm.

But why? Because there is something in our culture that says, the pleasure that is in forgiveness is not in revenge. You have to experience it to know its taste.

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