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Elder and younger Dr. Akbar Peyman
Years ago, I was interviewing patients who had attempted suicide for a scientific study on self-harm (suicide attempt) in Kabul hospitals. A 14-year-old girl injured her hand on purpose and her elder sister was taken to the hospital for treatment. The girl seemed very unhappy with life and her heart was very sad. I asked her the reason for her sadness and biting her hand, the elder sister replied in a sobbing voice, let her die. I told him that God forbade it, but are you talking like that? She replied that now the chiefs have become belari and once they get their heads down, they don’t get off their ass. My grandmother says that the last wish of my life is that this girl should marry her grandson and before I die this should be done but the girl does not like it and this is the first time she has tried to commit suicide. He does, but Anna doesn’t get over her words.
I said to myself that if I die, why should I turn the lives of two other people into hell? I tried to talk to the leaders that this is wrong, but it didn’t help.
This story came to mind because a close friend of mine, who came from abroad after a long time and is younger than me, looked older than me. I said to the man, what’s the matter? People say that there are festivals abroad and men don’t age quickly. What happened to you? The man told me that these elders have turned my life into hell and I can’t tell them no. No matter how much money I earn, the orders of the seniors and juniors here in the country also increase and not one of them thinks that I have a life to live and I should save some amount for my children. My fault is that I am the head of the family and I have taken all their blessings and now I think that if I don’t tell them, there will be an apocalypse.
These people who have seen family problems since childhood, there is no mutual respect between their parents, they have anxiety even in adulthood. These people always blame themselves and think that it is the right of people to oppress and abuse them.
The problem is that many people in our country do not know their rights. If you bite a child twice a day continuously for years, when the child grows up, he will think that biting and bullying is your (leader’s) Muslim and God-given right, and if he objects, it will be very serious. It is a sin, but this objection is not a sin but a reward. The heads of these families are also very weak and cannot understand each other properly, and other people make important family decisions for them. This kind of excessive force has brought these people to the level of illness and these people should consult with psychologists in order to regain self-confidence and be able to demand their rights.